I
went to school in a school van service from grade one to 13. Most of us became
good friends within a few years and shared many experiences during that period,
both good and bad. We weren’t always good children. Mischievous at times, we
learnt a few lessons for life from some things we did. I still remember one such lesson which made
us learn a lesson through the feeling of guilt. As I remember, I was still in
grade three; it was the period when we weren’t much thrilled about the food
inside our lunch boxes. My friend and I used to return home with a not-empty
lunch box at least two days a week. We all know what a not-empty lunchbox means.
It means disaster if you get caught to your mother. My friend was also scared
of her mother and knew what’s waiting for her if she didn’t empty her lunchbox
before she gets home. We had to do something but we couldn’t eat what’s inside
because we were worried whether the food was stale.
I
can’t remember whose idea it was or how we started it; I only remember that we
wanted to have fun and save my friend from her mother. We started throwing food
out from the open shutter targeting kids traveling in school vans. It was an
ugly thing to do, but we didn’t realize it then, since we were all kids. It was
fun and the lunchbox got empty. That’s all what we knew.
We
couldn’t continue shooting kids with bread for a long time. One day we threw food
into a three-wheeler in which there were three kids in the back seat. They were
our targets. We were masters of shooting bread by then and we managed to throw
a few pieces of bread in to this three-wheeler. Those children got irritated
and complained to the tuk-tuk driver and he wanted our diver uncle to pull
over. He didn’t do as the tuk-tuk driver said and fate decided to meet us up
near the color lights.
And
we got a lecture; a lecture I still remember after one and half decades. He
asked us whether we knew how many kids starve with no food and whether we know
how hard our parents have to work that they could feed us everyday. He blamed
us for dirtying his vehicle that he’ll have to wash it now. He scolded us, ‘Oyala maha pawukara lamay,’
(you sinful children). That was the last time we ever threw food out of our
school van or from any other vehicle. Even today, I think twice before throwing
any amount of food away.
Sometimes
you learn lessons from complete strangers. This is just one such event. You too,
may have lots of stories to tell, where you learned lessons from strangers. We
humans make mistakes, sometimes because we are so ignorant about the
consequences of our act and sometimes because we’ve got nothing else to do. However,
if you carry the guilt feeling on your shoulder, although you made the mistake
unconsciously, then there is a chance that this guilt would become a greater
problem than the penalty of the real mistake.
The feeling of
guilt can be an advantage at times. When your body is out of food, it sends you
a message, a feeling of hunger, to notify you that you need to have food. When
your phone battery is low it sends you an alert that it needs to be recharged.
Likewise when you get to know that you have violated a morale value,
consciously or unconsciously, your mind sends you a message telling you that
you shouldn’t have done so. This is called ‘guilt’. This is what happened to
our little mischievous gang in the school van; the guilt feeling motivated us
to be better children.
But sometimes
people carry guilt around for unrealistic reasons. Let’s say a girl who ended
her relationship with her boyfriend is carrying a guilt feeling with her for the
thought that she ruined this boy’s life. In reality, if the girl stayed with
the guy, it would cause more harm to both of them. It would be futile to fret
over this for years and years. Let’s say that you went out with your friends
and a terrible accident happened. Your friend got badly injured. You feel
guilty about what happened to your friend because it was your idea to go out
with him or her that day.
Guilt occurs
because we focus on the emotion itself and ignore the real reason behind the
incident. This girl might have ended her relationship because it was no good
for both of them and your friend got injured because he wasn’t careful crossing
the road and not because you invited him out. But both of them could leave out
the reasons and be guilty for the rest of their lives. You can see that there
is no point if you carry the guilt with them taking the responsibility in both
incidents.
It is only a fool
who makes the same mistake twice. If you make a mistake, learn your lesson from
it. Take this an aid to help your life. Always remember that the real problem
is not making mistakes, but not learning from your mistakes and carrying
unnecessary guilt on your shoulders.
